Ford: I'm never seen so much nothing.
Sheppard: And I've never walked so far to see it.

Teyla: And yet you cannot explain it.
McKay: Not yet.
Sheppard: Can't figure out a way we can use it?
McKay: Not yet.

Weir: You're suggesting we remove it from our DHD and bring it to M5S-224?
McKay: Yes.
Weir: Isn't that risky?
McKay: I'll be fine.
Sheppard: I think she means in terms of breaking our own 'gate.

Teyla: The fog.
McKay: Yes.
Sheppard: You said it wasn't fog.
McKay: Whatever it is.
Ford: Well, how do you know?
McKay: I don't yet. But the fog, or the mist, or whatever you want to call it, is the only thing around for miles, and the energy readings were constant.

Sheppard: So, how easy will it be to put that thing in the other DHD?
McKay: The Atlantis's DHD is unique. It's not like there'll be an empty slot waiting for us to just plug it in.
Weir: Meaning?
McKay: Meaning that there may be some disassembly required.
(Weir and Teyla give him identical looks.)
Ford: You want to take the DHD apart?
McKay: I'll put it back together again.
Teyla: Do you not run the risk of disabling the other Stargate?
McKay: Only if I screw up, which is extremely unlikely.
(Weir and Teyla give him identical looks again.)
Sheppard: 840 years.
McKay: What?
Sheppard: That's how long it will take for us to come get you by Puddle Jumper.
McKay: But you would do that, right?
(Weir, Teyla, and Ford all look amused.)
Sheppard: Of course we would.
McKay: Well, that won't be necessary. However, I might require some assistance.
Weir: Major?
Sheppard: Lieutenant?
Ford: Yes, sir.

McKay: We'll be back in time for supper.

Sheppard: Come in.
Weir: Hi. Do you have a moment?
Sheppard: Yeah, sure.
Weir: War and Peace? Ah, that's some heavy reading.
Sheppard: Yeah, well, back on Earth, when I was getting ready for this mission, I realized there was a good chance I might be here for a while. So, I figured, why not bring along a book that takes a while to read?
Weir: Page 17?
Sheppard: I'm right on schedule.
Weir: Hm. That's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. Home. Going home.
Sheppard: Oh.
Weir: McKay is right. If this works, and we are able to establish a wormhole back to Earth-
Sheppard: You know, if this conversation is going where I think it's headed, you can put your mind at rest. I'm not going anywhere. I haven't read my book.
Weir: Hmm. Look, all I'm saying is that you are the person who is best qualified to brief General Hammond and the other powers that be about the Wraith threat.
Sheppard: Well, maybe so... but I think I'm needed here.
Weir: Good.
Sheppard: But if you want to go, I understand that, too.
Weir: What, are you saying I'm not needed here?
Sheppard: I said I'd understand.
Weir: Well, thank you, but I made a commitment.
Sheppard: Of course, in all fairness, life-sucking aliens weren't part of the brochure.
Weir: Regardless. I'm staying.
Sheppard: Good. Wouldn't be the same without ya.

McKay: Because Atlantis can't afford to lose me. I'm their foremost expert in 'gate theory, wormhole physics, and a myriad of other sciences too numerous to mention yet too important to ignore.

Ford: So what you're saying is you're invaluable everywhere.
McKay: Granted, it would create a void if I were to go.
(Ford snickers.)
McKay: But, uh, you can all take comfort in the knowledge that I'm on the other side spearheading the effort to return with reinforcements, fresh supplies, and Big Macs for all.
Ford: Yeah, I- I feel better already.
McKay: Yeah, good.
Ford: Good.

Sheppard: And then there's all those cool Earth things I talked about- football, ferris wheels- Oh! Do you remember the last of the popcorn we ate? We can get more.
Teyla: If we knew we could return.

McKay: So, we, uh, ready?
Sheppard: What's there to be ready for?
McKay: Well, this is a big moment, and I thought we haven't been in contact for some time-
Sheppard: We're ready.
Weir: Go ahead.
McKay: Please work.

Ford: Is he serious?
Weir: Are you serious?

McKay: They feed on human life forms. Now they know there's a smorgasbord waiting for them here.

Teyla: So. Where are we going?
Sheppard: We should start by getting you a new outfit.

Answering Machine: You have no new messages.
McKay: Huh. Must've been a power failure or something.

Teyla: I have traded in many marketplaces, on many worlds-
Sheppard: Countries.
Teyla: Yes, of course. Countries. But here, there are so many different items to choose from.
Sheppard: Yeah, you seemed like you were having fun. Hours and hours of fun.

Weir: I wanted to tell you in person.
Simon: No, you didn't. You were afraid I'd talk you out of it.
Weir: I was afraid you'd try.
Simon: When you told me you were going but couldn't say where, my first guess was Korea. My second guess was Israel. To be honest, the Pegasus Galaxy didn't make my list.

Weir: No, I'm sorry. It's just when you kissed me-
Simon: What are you talking about, Elizabeth?

McKay: Oh, hey, I was just in the middle of a power nap, and... And I'm not wearing any pants. Heh.

McKay: I was just gonna come home, unwind, get a good night's rest, and come back refreshed, ready to start work on a solution. But an hour ago it hit me. Like Archimedes in the bathtub, Eureka! Except, I wasn't in the bathtub. I was on the couch watching a, a very strange Outer Limits episode-

Ford: I want go back to Atlantis. And they want to ship me back to Antarctica?
McKay: Lieutenant. Do you know something that I don't? Because the last time I checked, the Prometheus was critically damaged, and the only Zed-Pee-Em in our posession didn't have the power to run a car stereo.
Ford: I just thought you'd be trying to find another way.
McKay: There is no other way, Lieutenant. You're just going to have to deal with it.

Simon: It is tough to compete with the greatest adventure in human history.

Sheppard: Oh, yeah. Just like I left it.
Teyla: So much space for just... one person.
Sheppard: Well, a guy's gotta have a lot of space. I bet there's still, uh... (Finds two cold beers in the fridge.) Perfect. Nice and cold.
Teyla: And this is?
Sheppard: It's called beer.

Teyla: Is all this... for recreation?
Sheppard: Yeah, I got pretty much everything you can imagine, don't I?

Sheppard: I was just thinking again... About Dr. Weir... and everyone else on Atlantis.
Teyla: Of course. I am sure she is fine... as I am sure they are all fine.

McKay: Wait a minute. What is this, some kind of joke? These don't even make any sense!
Scientist: We don't think the ZPM has enough power to open the wormhole.
McKay: Well, you wouldn't know that from this, would you? This might as well say "bing tiddle tiddle bong." I mean, it's complete jibberish! Look, get out of here, I'll do it. Go! (to self) You've got to be kidding me.

Weir: Okay, wait a minute. I am not saying there shouldn't be an increased military presence, but the mission must remain the same. And I'm sure if Major Sheppard were here, he would tell you-
Hammond: We've spoken with Major Sheppard. He dialed in about an hour ago to check on your progress. We informed him of the situation, and he agrees with our assessment.
Weir: He wouldn't do that, General. I know John Sheppard.
Hammond: Apparently you don't know him as well as you thought, Doctor. Major Sheppard stated categorically it's the only way to ensure the security of the project.

Sheppard: Mitch! Dex!
Mitch: You didn't really think you could pass through town without seeing us, did you, Shep?
Dex: So you going to invite us in, or what?
Sheppard: Yeah, sure. What the hell.

Weir: I'm not a scientist, Rodney.
McKay: Well, neither is anyone else around here, apparently, otherwise they would have noticed that the laws of physics seem to have flown out the window.

Sheppard: Well, look who's in the pizza delivery business.
Ford: No, sir. I just caught the guy on the way out.
Sheppard: I was just thinking about you. Why don't you come in? Looks like we... are having... a party.

Weir: At the very least, I thought I'd be kept in the loop!
McKay: Oh, now you're just being paranoid. Why don't you go home, spend some time with Simon?
Weir: Simon?
McKay: Yes, he's important to you, isn't he?
Weir: Yes... I just don't remember ever telling you that.
McKay: Well, how else would I have known?

McKay: It's like looking through a microscope at a cell culture and seeing a thousand dancing hamsters. It's impossible!
Weir: Rodney, you need to calm down.
McKay: No, no, what I need to do now is get very agitated because what I'm realizing is all this is a lie!

Sheppard: You guys have been dead for years. Don't get me wrong, it's really nice seeing you. And you, too, Miss Watson. She was my sixth grade teacher. And... I don't even remember your name, but I remember you wouldn't even date me!

Weir: Okay, the Rodney McKay I know would never accept the militarization of Atlantis without putting up a fight. And I don't think Major Sheppard would agree to it either, at least not without speaking to me about it first.
McKay: Elizabeth, you shouldn't take it personally. I mean, think of it like a blessing. You have a life, you can get back to it now.
Weir: Okay, no. I'm not buying this anymore. Who are you, really?

Sheppard: Now somebody explain to me what the hell is going on here!

Sheppard: What happened?
Hammond: I drew you together from your fractured realities.
Sheppard: No, I'm talking about the beer I had.
Hammond: Major Sheppard discovered the truth some time ago.
McKay: He did?
Sheppard: Yeah, home for the last 11 months has been a research base in Antarctica. Although... I did dream about a bachelor pad like that.
Hammond: Major Sheppard seemed uniquely capable of manipulating his own fabricated reality.
Sheppard: If I think about the scenarios I could've thought up, I'd kick myself.

Hammond: It would be best if you try to make a life for yourselves.
Sheppard: This isn't life! What do you want us to do? Just pretend?

Hammond: Your desire to return to your homeworld was too strong. The amount of energy required to 'gate to another galaxy would have killed millions of our kind.

McKay: So none of this is real. The cute brunette. Of course, I should have known. I mean, how do you go from "You're a pig, but I like your cat" to "I missed you"?

Sheppard: The dead people were a dead giveaway.
McKay: Dead people. What were you doing?

McKay: We need food, we need water. I mean, we need food!

McKay: I don't mean to sound negative, because that would be, you know, so not me, but, uh, how do we know that this isn't a double fake-out? I mean, how do we know that this is, uh-

Weir: Rodney, be careful with that. I wanna make sure we can get back home.
McKay: You mean Atlantis.
Sheppard: I think that's what she meant.
McKay: How do I know she wasn't suggesting we pull a double fake-out of our own and dial Earth?
Sheppard: Forget the double fake-out, and get the damn crystal. I'll do the dial-out.