Sheppard: Get this damn thing off me!
Teyla: We can't.
Sheppard: Cut it off.

McKay: What am I expecting to find in here that's going to get rid of that thing?
Teyla: Something for the pain.
McKay: I don't think Tylenol's going to do it. He needs a doctor!

Ford: Some sort of funky alien bug attached itself to his neck.

Ford: What the hell was that? That's strange.
McKay: Yes, it is.
Ford: That is the...
McKay: Yes, it is.
Ford: That scraping sound. We're stuck.
McKay: Yes, we are. Apparently, the engine pods failed to retract in time. It's a square peg, round hole.

McKay: Yes, Elizabeth, it's an extremely intriguing conundrum, and one that I would love to discuss with you in detail, until the Stargate shuts down and this ship is cut in two-
Weir: Rodney, calm down.
McKay: - at which point-
Weir: Rodney! If I'm going to be any help to you, I need to catch up.

McKay: It's one of the more immutable laws of wormhole physics, and oh my, look at the time, it's more like 35 minutes. Are we all caught up?

Sheppard: Ford. What is that?
Ford: We're stuck, sir.
Sheppard: We're what?
Ford: In the 'gate.
Sheppard: You mean my day just got worse?

Sheppard: Cockpit on the left.
McKay: The cockpit is regrettably de-molecularized at the moment, but uh, what about somewhere back here?
Sheppard: No.
McKay: No. I didn't think so. Well, if you'll excuse me, I'll be a foot and a half over there taking some readings. Feel free to talk amongst yourselves.

McKay: Thanks for calling!

McKay: Anybody else claustrophobic, or is it, uh, just me?
Ford: Why'd you close the door?
McKay: So that when the Stargate shuts down, the forward section is severed, we're not directly exposed to space.
Ford: Will it hold?
McKay: Like a screen door in a submarine. I just prefer hypoxia to explosive decompression. It's a, it's a, personal thing.
Ford: If the air is going to get thin in here, you really do have to calm down.
McKay: Oh, wait 'til you see how thin it gets in 27 minutes.
Sheppard: McKay.
McKay: Vacuum! That's thin!
Sheppard: Knock it off.
McKay: Oh, I apologize for being the only person who truly comprehends how screwed we are!
Sheppard: Don't talk to me about screwed!

Sheppard: There's plenty of time to solve this thing, but you gotta stop using your mouth and start using your brain!
McKay: I'm sorry. It's, I'm... I react to certain doom in a certain way. It's a, it's a bad habit, and...

Sheppard: What I'm trying to say is if you don't get this damn thing off me, I have even less time than you do.

Weir: What could I do to help?
Zelenka: Stop talking, please.

Beckett: I'm told you have something of a cling-on...
Sheppard: That's funny.

Sheppard: It's like the ugliest damn tick you've ever seen.

Beckett: Son, you don't cut leeches off, you pour salt on them.

Weir: Fine, you did. Now, please, worry a little bit more about their lives, and less about your own ass.

Weir: All right. You perceive death a certain way. I accept that, in fact, I respect that. But we do not prepare for death. We do everything we can to stave it off. That is who we are.
Halling: I am not asking you to suspend your efforts.
Weir: No. You want me to tell everyone on that ship that they should expect to die? I will not send them that message. And if you feel that violates Teyla's personal rights, I apologize, I truly do. But there's nothing I can do about that right now.

Kavanagh: What the hell was that?
Weir: Excuse me?
Kavanagh: I happily left the SGC because I had had it up to here with the military running things, and you just busted me like a private.
Weir: Don't be so dramatic. Besides, the Air Force doesn't have privates.
Kavanagh: Neither do I. You just cut them off. Right in front of my research team.
Weir: That's what this is about? You're embarrassed?
Kavanagh: Well, humiliated would be a little more accurate.
Weir: I haven't worked up to humiliation yet!
Kavanagh: I'd just assumed that with a civilian in charge of the expedition, there would be a little bit more-
Weir: A civilian is in charge, and we are cut off from Earth, which makes Atlantis almost like a colony, doesn't it?
Kavanagh: I suppose.
Weir: Well, I'm governor of that colony.
Kavanagh: Well, that's all very well and good.
Weir: Do you have a problem with that?
Kavanagh: You're missing my point.
Weir: No, you're missing mine. If you waste one more minute which could be used to help the people trapped on that ship because of your ego, I promise you I will dial the coordinates of a very lonely planet where you can be as self-important as you want to be.
(Kavanagh scoffs.)
Weir: You think I'm kidding?
Kavanagh: You wouldn't do that.
Weir: Kavanagh, get back in there.
Kavanagh: We'll talk about this later.
Weir: Never again. Go.
(Kavanagh is still incredulous.)
Weir: Go!

McKay: Zelenka. Why can I never remember that name?

McKay: Yes, what have you go there? Any food?
Ford: You're kidding.
McKay: I have less than 20 minutes to save our lives, and I am teetering on the brink of a hypoglycemic reaction, so...

Sheppard: Save some for me.
Ford: Wrong type of alcohol, sir.
Sheppard: What's the good of that?

Teyla: Did the doctor not say to pour salt on the creature?
McKay: I think that was a metaphor? But, it doesn't matter, just try everything.

Weir: How is Major Sheppard?
Sheppard: I'm still here.
Weir: Hang in there, Major. We're working on the problem.
Sheppard: I know you are. Listen... I'd like to say something while I still can.
Weir: Don't! You're going to get through this.
Sheppard: If I was... he wouldn't have let me go.
Weir: Who wouldn't have let you go?
Sheppard: The Wraith.
(Flashback.)
Sheppard: I guess he just saw me as good as dead 'cause he just walked away. So, what I wanted to say was...
Weir: Save your strength, John. And tell me in person.
Sheppard: This is important.
Weir: I'm listening.

Weir: John, are you sure you want to do this?
Sheppard: I want this damn thing off me!

McKay: We're never going to make it.
Ford: Just keep at it. There's still time.
McKay: You should consider stepping in the event horizon. I'm serious. I'll keep trying 'til the end, but given your choices, that's a far better way to go.
Ford: And leave you here alone with that thing wrapped up in my jacket?
McKay: You did check to make sure it was dead, right?
Ford: It's dead.
McKay: Good. Because death by suffocation or explosive decompression with that thing in here is possibly the worst-
Ford: Work. Work!
McKay: Sorry.

Weir: Don't be so methodical. Just pick one at random!

Weir: How're you feeling?
Sheppard: Starving.
McKay: Uh, he's got quite the hickey. But, uh, Dr. Beckett says he'll be fine in a few days.

Ford: Welcome back, Sir.
Sheppard: I have to admit, it is a pleasant surprise.

Weir: By the way, what were you going to say?
Sheppard: When?
Weir: Before, when you thought... you know.
Sheppard: Oh. That.
Weir: I didn't want you to say at the time. But now I'm curious.
Sheppard: I was going to say, uh... (long pause) Take care of each other.
Weir: That's nice.
McKay: And, indeed we did.
Sheppard: Yes, you did. Thank you. Again.
McKay: You're welcome.
Teyla: Good night.
(McKay, Teyla, and Ford leave. Weir pauses after a few steps and turns around to face Sheppard.)
Weir: You weren't really going to say that, were you?
Sheppard: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Weir: I didn't think so.