McKay: You got your eye on anyone?
Beckett: Em... not really.
McKay: Actually, I was talking to the mouse. But, uh, now you mention it, some of those Athosian women are pretty hot. And we did just save them from the Wraith, so we've got to trade in on that while we can, you know? Before they discover that we're not actually that cool?

McKay: Well, you know me, always eager to help.
Beckett: Right.

McKay: Uh, yeah. I'm sorry, medicine is about as much of a science as... uh, oh, I don't know, voodoo?

Beckett: Well, actually, without proper FDA approval, it was virtually impossible on Earth to... Let's just say it's, uh, legal here in the Pegasus galaxy.
McKay: Wh- and completely safe?
Beckett: As far as experimental gene therapy goes. I am manipulating your DNA. Here we go!

McKay: Are there any side effects?
Beckett: Dry mouth, headache, the irresistable urge to run on a small wheel.
McKay: Oh, that's very amusing.

Weir: And can we lose the 10,000-year-old dead plants?

McKay: You didn't have to swing so hard. And- and notice that he didn't even hesitate.

Weir: I'm still trying to understand how you thought it was a good idea to test this device by having someone throw you off a balcony.
McKay: Believe me, that's not the first thing we tried.
Sheppard (smirking): I shot him.
(Weir gives him a look.)
Sheppard: In the leg!

McKay: I'm invulnerable!
Weir: Aren't you the one who's always spouting off about how proper and careful scientific procedure must be adhered to?
McKay: In-vul-ner-able.

Grodin: I'm thinking "Mr. Invincible."
Beckett: "Captain Untouchable."
Grodin: Ooh, that's good.

McKay: Oh, thank you. I'm hungry already. What am I going to do? If I don't get this stupid thing off, I'll be dead by the end of the day!
Beckett: Relax, you can live three or four days without water.
McKay: Yeah, I'm talking about food!

Grodin: Some Ancient technology uses a mental component for operation-
McKay: Shut up, I'm thinking.
(Everyone waits. Nothing happens.)
Grodin: Is there any possibility that the gene therapy isn't permanent?
Beckett: It's possible...
McKay: I'm a dead man.

McKay: It's very important. I mean, you never know. Even- even a tiny, little, innocuous thing can... can kill you. (McKay raises his hand.) Dead man talking.

Weir: But McKay's been through it, and he didn't find anything helpful. And he is the smartest guy here.
Beckett: So he likes to tell us.

Weir: The Ancients were smart enough to build fail safes with their other technology. I mean, this entire city, it rose from the deep of the ocean when danger was imminent. Why would they design a personal shield that could kill you?

Ford: You sure it'll do enough damage?
McKay: Ever see a 20-kiloton nuclear explosion?
Sheppard: I have.
(Everyone looks at him.)
Sheppard: Not up close.

Sheppard: I trust Teyla.
Weir: So do I. But Teyla trusts her people. If we tell her, she'll want to tell them. And I need more time to get to know them.

Sheppard: Oh, that is beautiful! Can you believe that?
Teyla: ... Should I not?

Teyla: They seem... very happy.

Weir: Hey, what are you guys doing?
Sheppard: I'm teaching Teyla how football is the cornerstone of Western civilization.
Weir: And you didn't invite me?
Sheppard: Oh, you like football?
Weir: No, not really.
Sheppard: Oh, come on, it's real, it's unpredictable, it's full of passion... and beer... hot dogs.
McKay: Cheerleaders.
Weir: I just can't understand you're allowed one personal item, and you chose this.
Sheppard: It's a metaphor. Don't you see? This entire expedition is the biggest Hail Mary in human history.

Weir: You don't think so?
Sheppard: I don't think they want to scare us. When they decide to come, they're going to start blowing the crap out of this place with their ships.

Beckett: He fainted.
McKay: Oh, there's gotta be a better word.
Beckett: "Faint" is the proper medical term.
McKay: I passed out from... manly hunger.
Sheppard: Well, hang in there. Dr. Weir, this is Sheppard. McKay's okay. He, uh... he fainted.
McKay: Yeah, very sympathetic. Let's all mock the dying man!

McKay: If this thing feeds on energy, we could be in big trouble. And when I say "we," I mean you, because I won't actually be around for much longer.

McKay: Well, I only know one thing for sure, and that is that flying darkness that eats energy can only be very, very bad.

Sheppard: Dr. Beckett says you're going to be back to, uh, "pretty boy" in no time.

Sheppard: Apparently, it's also an elevator.
McKay: Really.
Weir: We can stop taking the stairs everywhere.
McKay: Well, how nice for you all.

Ford: Where I come from, we got a little saying: "Stuff happens." It's a little different, but...

Weir: Wait a minute, Rodney. You're still wearing the shield. Isn't there a chance that if something went wrong, that would protect you?
(McKay pauses, the shield falls off. He reaches into his pocket and gets a powerbar.)
McKay: Hmm.
Weir: I had a feeling.
McKay: What do you mean? Had a feeling about what? You think I wanted it to come off just now? You think I'm scared? I'm not scared, I'll stay, I'll do this!
Sheppard: That's okay. You might faint again.

Sheppard: I think we're going to need a bigger bone.
McKay: Size doesn't matter.
Sheppard: That's a myth.

Sheppard: You must have passed out.
McKay: Oh. Well, thanks for saying the other thing.

Sheppard: Now that was a Hail Mary!